julia gillmor

Striving for Perfektion

In Self Care by julia gillmor

August 29, 2017

Our April newsletter went out this spring with two big fat typo’s in the subject bar.

I had a full body cringe before even finishing the first sentence. Even my body had internalized the striving to “get it right”.

I became immediately aware of my ambition to compare favorably with others now that my imperfections were in full public view.

Then something softened. It was more than the acceptance of “shit happens”. It was a moment where I got to see how widespread and systemic striving is, and more importantly, what it tries to cover over:

A feeling of Lack.

Lack comes from a place in our past where something was missing, and what was missing got internalized as deficiency. (I wrote about this in my last blog post which you can read here).

Lack makes a different shaped hole in each of us. Here is the “I’m not good enough” hole. There’s the “I’m not attractive enough” hole, and the “I will never be successful enough” hole. The permutations are endless.

In our culture this lack is made invisible, glazed over by distraction, consumption and all the things we do to keep busy and avoid what we feel.

I decided to explore this striving for Perfektion because the secret to loving others despite their imperfections, is loving ourselves despite ours.

I wish I could offer a quick solution or a simple practice that would create significant change if you find yourself in a difficult place. But that’s not how this kind of process works. To be willing to heal we need to go into those places where the pain exists and hold it in a new way. We need to bring kindness to the places where it was lacking.

This is the focus The Hero’s Journey, a 6 day retreat, September 24 -30th. This retreat is about shifting our perception to find the means to welcome all of our experience, even the difficulties. Learning to embrace with kindness all of our reality initiates the process of change that happens from the inside out.

When you live in this way you get to feel more fully alive.

You come to know more about the places where you limit yourself, so different choices become available.

You notice your ability to show up with a greater capacity to hold the joy and the pain without the need to push any of it away.

Find out more about The Hero’s Journey here.